Tuesday, September 13, 2011

It happened. And I am forever grossed out.

Our nanny keeps a log of what she and the little man do every day: how much he eats, when he sleeps, that today they were playing and she was making animal noises and he cried when she mooed like a cow.  But only that noise.  We may have a vegetarian on our hands.  Anyway, she noted that she gave him prunes for lunch as he was clearly having trouble in the morning and did not have his usual morning constitutional.  Fast forward to dinner tonight:  I was feeding LM when I noticed that he was clearly trying to poop.  I gave the kid a few minutes and we finished dinner.  

We have a routine down for bathtime.  I jump in the bath.  J strips the kid down to his diaper and brings him into the bathroom.  He takes off the diaper and hands LM to me in the bathtub.  We have added a step for when the kid has pooped.  J is supposed to take the diaper off before he comes in the bathroom and clean the kid.  Otherwise, we have the scene from a few nights ago where I precariously hold LM above the water with his butt to J while J attempts to clean the kid with toilet paper.  There is a reason that baby wipes are stronger than toilet paper -- toilet paper doesn't work on baby poop.  At all.  It also sticks to baby butts and ends up floating in the water.  Tonight J skipped the step of cleaning the kid before he came into the bathroom, which led to LM being cleaned with toilet paper.  As J was leaving he said, "Wow. I hope he's done.  Oh wait, LM poop on mommy that would be funny."  Famous last words.

Did I mention that I filled the bath extra full tonight?  With lots of bubbles.  Bubbles make it hard to see what is in the water.  LM and I were enjoying our bath when I felt something in the water.  At first I thought it was just a piece of left over toilet paper.  Oh no.  The kid had let it rip, big time.  I squelled.  J came running.  LM cried.  We tried to clean it up.  Just at the point where we started letting the water drain, he let another one rip.  I squelled more.  We got that cleaned up.  I was sitting in a messy, gross tub, getting ready to hand LM to John, when the kid, yet again, let one rip.  on my thigh.  At that point, I just handed LM to John, got toilet paper and cleaned myself up.  And then I disinfected the tub.

The bath, round 2 of the evening was much less eventful.  I took a long shower after.  Will may have missed his bedtime tonight.  I think I'm going to go shower again.

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